Grudd Haug | Hill Giant Fort Map Pack!

“The Hill Giant Chieftan rubbed a hand along her pudgy face, drawing a thick strand of black hair away from her eyes as she pounded the side of her wooden throne.

‘Where is my dinner!?”, she spat, drool running along her multiple chins as the rest of her body quivered in rage like an angry pudding.

Guh was truly a sight to behold. Having grown too lazy and fat to move, the Hill Giant Chieftan now perched atop the bowed frame of an old wagon, its massive wheels cracked and bending beneath her massive weight. Hordes of matted fur hides lay strewn about her body in a failed attempt at modesty, though her body was no longer recognizably female. Folds of greasy flesh spilled out in nearly every direction, like a wax candle melted over a pile of wood.

A pair of small, black-haired goblins scurried into the hall, holding a large platter between them. Walking carefully across the sea of bones, blood and viscera that littered the floor, they set the platter down before their Chieftan and glanced up in trepidation.

The platter was filled with two freshly butchered hogs, their severed heads laid upon a sea of browning lettuce. Next to them stood two piles of entrails pooled up within the confines of a greasy wooden bowl. The goblins bowed low and swept their hands out in offering, gesturing toward the bloody feast.

“Ah…finally….dinner!”, Guh shouted, her flabby ham fist reaching out toward the platter to take grasp of one of the pig’s legs.

With a crack of bone, the Hill Giant tore the leg free with ease and brought it to her eager lips, slurping its flesh clean before turning her malevolent black eyes toward the goblin standing closest to her.

“And…dessert, I think…”, she cackled, as her right hand closed about the goblin’s body with wet sound, his eyes bulging and cheeks quivering as the air left his lungs.

Guh grinned as she lifted him effortlessly from the ground, bringing his exposed head toward her gaping, flat-toothed maw.Just as she was about to close her mouth about the goblin’s skull, the low sound of a war gong sounded in the distance.

Guh glanced up with a sharp tilt of her head, eyes moving back and forth as if searching for something.

The gong sounded again.

“Intruders! Get out there an’ bring them to me, you miserable, lazy louts! If they aren’t bound an’ sittin’ on a platter before me within the hour, best dress and bring yourself!”, she shouted to the group of Hill Giants lazing about the many tables of the hall.

Stirred to action, the Giants rose from their tables with a mixture of curses and grunts, loping through a large doorway to the east. The other goblin had long since departed its comrade, leaving Guh alone in the hall with nothing but her thoughts, and her food.

Glancing toward the goblin in her hand, Guh squinted and pursed her lips, “Perhaps THEY shall be dessert today, hrmm?”

The goblin, unable to move any other part of its body, nodded emphatically in agreement.

“TWO DESSERT DAY!” she shouted, to the goblin’s horror, and promptly closed her mouth about his screaming head with a heavy chomp before pulling its body away with a sick crack of bone.

Chewing thoughtfully, Guh leaned over to her left and grabbed a massive tree-trunk wrapped in bands of leather and set it on the left side of her throne. “Must be ready to welcome our guests!”

Guh threw her head back and cackled, her wooden throne creaking in protest as she pounded her fists upon its wheels.

“TWO DESSERT DAY!”