Desperately Seeking Plumb Gorgeous (Tunnels & Trolls)

For use with Tunnels & Trolls (including Deluxe), Monsters! Monsters! and similar works.

This scenario is set in the lands of Hylax the campaign created by the author for her T&T/M!M! players over the past few years.

Granny Gristletit’s House of Forbidden Pleasure is one of only a few active businesses on the Buzzard’s Gulch Monster Reservation, Located in the southern portion of that barren plot of ground, not far from the Dysentarium Swamp, and a stone’s throw from the Rough House Fight Club, the brothel caters mostly to the few resident monsters who have managed to obtain money or power. Its location is an old, crumbling church, left to rot when humans abandoned the stretch of land that would become the reservation.

Granny the witch hag takes pride in being able to offer the most unusual and rare specimens of harlot (both male and female). Her “attractions” include Corpsina the zombie girl, who wears a scold’s bridle to keep her from biting, Madam M’Gruff the dog faced lady, Massive Mike the hobgoblin, Calista the lamia, and Evard Blue Tentacles the talktipus. But one thing has thus far eluded the old hag’s search for the most unusual of floozies: a human virgin of stunning beauty. Granny won’t settle for just any old virgin, her mirror has told her all: the sweetest, kindest, most feminine, most beautiful girl in all of Hylax is Plumb Gorgeous.

Unfortunately for Granny, Plumb Gorgeous, orphaned at an early age, now resides in a castle in Gnarlian’s Wood, guarded by the nine Gnomes of Renown. Because of the powers of Gnarlian, Granny cannot obtain the girl through magic, nor go to Gnarlian’s Wood herself. The magical laws laid out at the end of the Monster Wars are binding. Granny needs bold and ambitious monsters who can go to Gnarlian’s Wood for her, kidnap the girl, and bring her back in one piece. Granny can supply a map to Cannalot Castle in Gnarlian’s Wood where Plumb Gorgeous is said to pass her days chatting with birds, and sewing the beautiful gowns she loves to cavort in. “I used to go there… to Cannalot… in my younger days,” Granny says wistfully.

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